A Life To Live
When I came to OA five years ago, I was suicidal. I couldn’t imagine gaining weight yet another time. I was in my first new relationship since my husband of twenty years had left our marriage ten months prior. But my “new boyfriend diet” had worn off, and I was starting to expand. I couldn’t bear to gain weight again. It was too humiliating!
When I told my sister I felt desperate and suicidal, she suggested therapy. I couldn’t afford it, but I realized I had to do something. The divorce was bad enough for my two teenage sons; their mother committing suicide would be much worse.
I went to an OA meeting once ten years ago. I couldn’t relate, so I left and gained 50 pounds (23 kg). Five years later, I decided to try again. This time I could relate. I felt at home, and I didn’t feel alone anymore. I knew people in the rooms understood my pain, fear, and agony about inhaling food.
Today I am sitting at my dining room table. I just ate dinner, and then I stopped eating. I have never stopped before. Food is left over, but I am full and don’t want to eat anymore. This is a miracle!
I have learned to get a sponsor, have a food plan, make phone calls, do service, attend meetings, work the Steps, write, share what I write, sponsor others, meditate, make amends, pray for the people with whom I have problems, exercise, and turn everything over to God. It’s amazing how doing these things, one step at a time, has brought me to not wanting to overeat anymore.
OA has given me a life to live a life I love most of the time. When I don’t love it, I ask God to help me through it.
— Lifeline, January 2003