No More Rain Clouds
When I first came into OA thirteen years ago, I was in pain. I had a lot of work to do on myself and for my recovery. I saw everything I did as my rehabilitation process, and everything seemed very serious and heavy.
After continuing in OA for many years, I was still feeling sad, and I struggled to find some fun and happiness in life. For too long, I had not allowed myself the time or opportunity to play, and I felt uncomfortable when I tried. It didn’t come easy for me. I was too afraid.
Then I went on a retreat, and I saw people who could laugh at themselves and risk being laughed at. I saw large people dancing in tutus, people dressed up and pitching Lifeline, and people leading group activities.
Laughing with others helped me open up! I learned I didn’t need to be so serious all the time. I discovered that recovery can be about putting down the food and learning to enjoy some fun and games.
While I still struggled with a rain cloud hovering over my head and noticed a heavier spirit when the days got shorter, I decided to make further changes in my life. As time passed, people at work noticed that I was laughing and was in a better mood more often.
Now I’m able to poke fun at myself and be part of the fun at retreats and anywhere else I go. I learned to laugh, and I love it. Now I see this as part of my recovery. It’s something I would not have found if not for the program and a Higher Power.
— Lifeline, July 1999